The Harm of the Fem-Bro Mentality
I think it is relatively common in our society for women to be competitive with other women. I think that this is in part due to the fact that we live in a patriarchal society where women are forced to seek acceptance from men in order to level up in many different arenas including the workplace and our social circles. I myself would have never looked at my past behaviors as me seeking approval from men. However, I have often taken on this identity that I was “one of the guys” and carried beliefs such as “women are too dramatic” or even “women are boring”. I would pretend to enjoy watching football when I truly didn’t care about that. Sure, I could be excited by a close game, but I really didn’t like football that much. I pretended to have an unbreakable exterior, when I really was quite a sensitive person. And while I’m not trying to assert that this is every woman’s experience, as I know that is false, I do think that this is common for a lot of young women at some point in their lives.
As our society has become increasingly violent and volatile and as the wealth gap continues to widen, I think we are realizing the importance of balance and that we need more women in positions of power within our society. I think that we are also realizing the importance of focusing inward and being good stewards of our own mental health, as it is truly only our responsibility. I think the Fem-Bro mentality, which I would define as behaviors or actions that uphold the unhealthy and unrealistic standards imposed upon women in our society, perpetuates poor overall health for everyone in society. I look at it as an attitude that promotes stereotypical women behaviors and attitudes. It also promotes the objectification of women and the unhealthy beauty standards that exist in our society. It also promotes comparing ourselves to others and always expecting perfection in all facets of our lives. It is the attempt to control our bodies and the attempts to keep us inferior to men, as this is what continues to drive the patriarchy. It could be as simple as comparing yourself to another woman, and as drastic as a man slapping an unknown woman on the behind. The Fem-Bro mentality kept me from expressing my more feminine traits, while promoting and highlighting my more masculine traits in a way that was disparaging to women. We don’t have to succumb to this and we don’t have to continue to allow it.
One could argue that there is some value in humor and that joking about stereotypes of women has value. I would argue again that jokes of this nature only perpetuate underlying stereotypes and unrealistic standards. We need to think carefully about the messages we send to others and always hold ourselves to the highest standards. One could also argue that competition is healthy. I would argue that healthy competition is healthy and healthy competition between women would be women encouraging each other to achieve their goals and dreams.
We all need to take better care of ourselves and honor our needs. We need to hold ourselves to higher standards. We need to stop allowing unacceptable behaviors and attitudes continue. We have to advocate for societal change that supports these ideas. Please note that the purpose of this writing is not to blame men, as I don’t think we can after 6500 years of development of human civilization. The purpose rather is to shed light on these behaviors and interactions, so that we can recognize them and promote change. We need to encourage everyone to love themselves unconditionally so that they may help others learn how to do the same. This change can start with women, as I believe there is nothing more empowering than women supporting other women. If we put the Fem-Bro mentality to an end, women will save the Earth.
